Lessons en Espanol

I'm officially on vacation. No longer working, I can focus on my Spanish and in turn impart some of my education of the language on to you.

When I arrived here in December my Spanish consisted of two words: si and gracias. After three months I've managed to add a few more words to my vocabulary, many of them slang and taught to me by my coworkers at the Shack. I became fairly fluent at words used in the restaurant. The majority of staff at Joe's is Mexican and other than the servers, they don't speak English. It made communicating difficult but somehow I managed to fit in. They all thought I was loco (crazy) but most of them are loco too so we didn't need language to bond.

Some favourite words from Vallarta:

Piojo/pioja (pee-yo-ho/pee-yo-ha) A "cheap bastard". Also the word for lice. Commonly used at Joe Jack's to describe poor tippers, generally Canadians and especially French Canadians. Sorry fellow Canucks but we have a bad reputation in Vallarta and having worked in the industry for the last three months I can honestly say it's deserved.

No mames (no mom-ees) Vulgar slang meaning "no way!" The literal translation is "don't suck me" and it was a long-running source of humour at the Shack when someone in the kitchen would say "no mamis!". It was then my cue to follow with "Si mamo, y a domicilio. Bien rico." Which translates to "Yes, I suck! At my place. It's really tasty." This joke never got old.

Porfa (pour-fa) Colloquial term used as an abbreviation of "please". Tourists say "por favor", locals say "porfa".

Quisiera (key-sarah) "I would like". This is my most frequently used word. "Quisiera una cerveza porfa." "Quisiera una margarita." "Quisiera un hombre!"

Caliente (kali-n-tay) Means "hot" as in temperature but when used to describe yourself or another person it means "horny".

Mas (mass) "More." Comes in very handy at the bar. "Una mas, porfa". "Dos mas Corona. Gracias."

Por que, no? (pour kay, no) "Why not?" Should we get another beer and dance at Manana until 6am? "Por que, no!"