Things That Make You Go Hmmm

I’m always thinking about my loyal readers. Your needs and wants. Your desires. I’m just that selfless, it’s true. So, I’ve compiled a few questions that have come in over the last couple weeks from “peeps” just like you. Why help one person when you can help nearly a dozen?!

Q What’s the truth behind best-before dates, can you let it go for a couple weeks once it’s past its expiration?

A The greatest gift my dad ever gave me was common sense. I consider expiration dates guidelines that shouldn’t override good sense. If it looks like a duck and walks like a duck, it’s probably a duck—the same rule applies for food. If it looks bad, smell it? If it smells bad, throw it out. If after the sight and whiff test you still can’t tell, taste it, then trust your gut.

Q I received a bottle of icewine for Christmas from my boss and I know it’s very expensive but I don’t like icewine. I thought about re-gifting it but is there something else I can do with it?

A Icewine (like female pop singers) is one of the greatest and most delicious products this country produces and best enjoyed in 2 oz. pours with sweet desserts like sticky toffee pudding or Banana’s Fosters, for example. If I still can’t convince you, pour ½ oz. of icewine into the bottom of a champagne flute and top with a dry sparkling wine. I call this cocktail a Niagara Gold and it can make a cheap bottle of bubbly taste like the good stuff. It’s delicious served at wine and cheese parties, to congratulate newly engaged couples or to help pass a Tuesday evening.

Q My second wedding anniversary is coming up and instead of going out for dinner I’d like to make a great meal at home. Any suggestions for something not too complicated?

A Of course. First, buy my new book, Entertaining with Booze. Second, turn to page 73 and voila!, a menu for The Perfect Romantic Dinner. Start off with a simple butternut squash soup (homemade or store bought) and garnish in the centre with some cooked lobster meat tossed in a little cognac—a wonderfully sophisticated starter that couldn’t be easier. For the main course medium-rare beef tenderloin for two (a.k.a. chateaubriand) served with Béarnaise sauce and a side of green beans steamed in white wine and tossed with slivered almonds and orange zest. And for dessert, a small cream puff tower drizzled with bourbon caramel. Serve with the best champagne you can afford and prepare for an onslaught of amorous advances.

Q What’s your take on eating local? It sounds great in theory but do you think it’s actually practicable?

A I’m all for a local diet and it’s definitely doable in many parts of the country if you’re an unapologetic carnivore—Yorkshire Duroc pork from Norfolk County, Ontario, Wagyu beef from southern Alberta, Brome Lake ducks from Quebec’s Eastern Townships—but a lot of fruits and veggies (especially in winter) are imported, and I, like many others will not be giving up Hawaiian pineapple or Spanish clementines any time soon, not to mention French wine or Belgian beer.

Q What’s a new lasagna recipe to try? I make a traditional version with Bechamel sauce and meat sauce but I’d like something a little different.

A I’m a creature of habit myself and have been making the same lasagna recipe since I was in high school—one that uses crumbled Italian sausage instead of beef in the Bolognese sauce—but it’s delicious so I keep making it. Sausage meat is already seasoned so you’re starting with a great flavour base and it’s veggie friendly, meaning you can add almost anything to the sauce—I’ve made it with caramelized onions and sauteed spinach or portobello mushrooms, roasted garlic and red wine—to keep it interesting. But don’t let that stop you. Use chorizo or lamb sausage and create something all your own.

Livin' the Life!

It’s Friday March 20, 2009, the first day of spring. A gorgeous blue sky keeps tempting me outside as sunlight washes over the sides of my neighbours’ homes. It’s been a long time coming, this change of the seasons. Too damn long. But winter is the past and I for one, never linger there for long.

Life’s way too short.

I was reminded of this very fact yesterday while taking in an afternoon flick with my mom. She was in town for two days and while we Crate-and-Barreled our way through the first day, we decided a matinee would be a perfect afternoon diversion for the second.

And you can’t help but think of your own mortality while watching One Week, the Canadian indie film starring Pacey—you know, Canuck hottie Josh Jackson. Sitting there watching the beautiful scenery of this country go by on the screen, you question not only your mortality, but more important things like happiness. True happiness.

Are you living the life you thought you would? Are you living the life you want?

Yikes! Heavy stuff for a Friday, but there is a point.

In One Week, Jackson is diagnosed with an extremely aggressive form of cancer and before he can even consider entering treatment or becoming a patient he buys a secondhand motorcycle and heads west from Toronto in search of meaning, a point, adventure—anything that’ll make him feel alive.

The big question posed to the audience: “What would you do if you had one day, one week or one month to live”?

No light fare—that’s a six course turkey dinner with extra stuffing. I’m full just thinking about it and unless you’re really faced with that kind of news it’s a bit of quagmire conjuring up a true, honest answer. Though even contemplating the possibility has gotta be good for the soul.

What would I do? Well, I wouldn’t be wasting my time blogging to you people. That’s for damn sure. I’d get out there and live. Really live.

I’d talk to strangers. Try heroin. Swim in Lake Ontario.

I’d rent the Coco Chanel suite at the Ritz in Paris and spend a small fortune on a bespoke suit from Saville Row.

I’d dine at the French Laundry in Napa, The Fat Duck in London and Spain’s El Bulli.

I’d head north, venture beyond the tree line and drink a bottle of scotch while I watched the northern lights.

I’d throw a party and cater the hell out of it.

And I’d spend a day in complete sobriety, just to see what it’s like.

What would you do? Seriously, with a week to live what does your list look like?

Then don’t wait for chronic illness to get you up off your ass. Start living. Really living. If life isn’t about being happy, then what the hell is it for? We only get one chance at this thing.

I for one am pretty damn happy and more or less living the life I want but there’s always more—more to do, more to see, to explore and experience. I’m starting now.

Today I’m going to talk to a stranger and learn something about him. A story or a dream. Something that’ll connect two random human beings. Some common link. A bond. Anything.

And who knows, maybe he’ll turn out to be a heroin dealer?

Street Eats Go Global, FINALLY!

Bring on the kebabs.

But don’t stop there. Biryani, jerk chicken, souvlaki and other ethnic bites will soon be available on the streets of Toronto, seriously upping the ante for the tube steak peddlers.

Finally, after years of lobbying for more diverse food on our fare city streets, which actually reflects the people and palate of Toronto, us folk who love to dine al fresco, will have a bit more choice this coming spring.

And hopefully it’s only the beginning.

For far too long hot dogs have defined Toronto’s street food, mainly because rigorous provincial health regulations make it nearly impossible to sell anything else. Wieners, and the like, are pre-cooked, seriously lowering the risk of food-borne illnesses. Thankfully, there’s a hardworking group of passionate foodies in this city (Councilor John Fillion and chef Brad Long among them) who’ve plugged away tirelessly to change what dishes can be sold on our streets.

Announced as a pilot project by city hall, dubbed Toronto al a Cart, the program selected eight new street vendors from a pile of 19. The new vendors will be stationed at hotspots around the city and offer hungry passersby Thai, Korean, Afghan, Middle Eastern, Greek, Persian, Caribbean and Eritrean cuisine.

But don’t fret, the eight lucky applicants selected had to win over a tasting panel of city chefs, as well as navigate tough food safety, nutrition and legal terrain in order to win one of the coveted spots.

It’s not all smooth sailing though. For this program to take off people have to fork over their lunch money, which in these recessionary times is one of the first things to go as more people brown bag it to work.

Competition is high.

You can score a hot dog for as little as $2 on the street—these vendors will be hawking their fare around $5, and for as much as $7.

And apparently the tubular vendors are not very happy with al a Cart at all. See, they were closed out of the competition even though their organizing party said it would take little to retrofit existing carts that would be safe to offer different foods. Still, they weren’t allowed to submit applications and feel they’ve been black balled from the process.

Look for some real street-based food fights to wage in the coming months. You’ll probably find them going down at the locations below—where the new vendors will be facing off against old. Let the games begin.

• Mel Lastman Square (Thai: pad thai with fresh rolls)

• Metro Hall (Afghani/Central Asian: chapli kebabs)

• Nathan Phillips Square (Central Asian/Persian: biryani)

• Nathan Philips Square (Greek: souvlaki)

• Queen’s Park (Middle Eastern: chicken/beef kebab wraps)

• Roundhouse Park (Eritrean: injera)

• Yonge and Eglinton (Korean: bulgogi with seasonal kimchi)

• Yonge and St. Clair (Caribfusion: jerk chicken)

The Seafood Chronicles

It’s Tuesday. I don’t know about you but I certainly feel like a cocktail. Not that I have much to complain about. Life is good. I’ve recently returned from a week in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico where, as any good hedonist knows, is a fantastic place to enjoy cocktails. And I myself, along with my traveling companion Mr. Jamie Slater, a.k.a. “Ida Slapther” indulged several times in delicious blended margaritas—delivered direct to our very favourite palapa.

While out for dinner at one of our new favourite restaurants, Joe Jack’s Fish Shack, we sampled the house specialty, a tasty and refreshing ginger mojito. We needed the digestive aid of the ginger to help sooth our bloated bellies.

On our first visit to Joe’s I ordered the self-proclaimed “famous seafood chowder”. A hot and hearty bowl of soup isn’t something I normally crave in 20˚C weather but I’m a bit of stargazer, especially when it comes to food. I had to see if this was indeed the Meryl Streep of chowders or just a tart of a soup named Paris, meant to seduce pink-faced tourists like me.

To my culinary delight this soup had balls to back it up. A tomato-based, Manhattan-style chowder so complex and layered in its seasoning I don’t know where to begin to describe it.

It’s like sitting around a campfire and someone throws a bag of spices onto the fire which may or may not include fennel, cumin and paprika. Then someone else throws on a bag of dried poblano peppers and a bushel of tomatoes.

Into that smoky and charred broth is pieces of melt-in-you-mouth octopus, swollen shrimp, pacific lobster and mahi mahi—all locally caught and fresh beyond compare.

The abundance of affordable fish and seafood in the markets in PV is one of the reason’s Joe Jack came to PV from his two successful digs in San Francisco and Los Angeles and opened his eponymous resto.

Lucky for us.

His fish and chips have become legendary in the three years since he opened and while neither Ida nor I tried them, we can both hail praise for the battered fish tacos. Three huge pieces of mahi mahi, thick and crispy coated, topped with a smooth and refreshing avocado and coriander puree, smoked-pepper salsa and crunchy slaw. For less than $10 CAD, it makes over-indulging very affordable.

There’s a vibe about Joe’s that instantly puts you at ease. A vibe that brings you back. Well that and a waiter Ida and I called Jaun.

It’s a vibrant place and servers are constantly running past with tall glasses of sangria; delivering dessert cups filled with Joe’s amazing ceviche; or doling out thick pieces of coconut pie. Had we had room for dessert it would have graced our table too.

Thankfully, it gives us good reason to return. Well, that and Juan.

www.joejacks-fishshack.com